9 Proven Steps to Finally Get Your Life Together

How to Get Your Sh*t Together – YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE83DdjzUk8

Transcript:
(00:00) this is nine steps to get your together step one change your environment you can’t have a positive mindset in a negative environment I don’t care how great your mindset is it’s like being in a commercial grade freezer if you’re standing in that freezer and you think you have a positive mental attitude no you’re going to be cold but if I take you out of that freezer and I put you under a heat lamp you’re going to warm up you’re human understand that you are built to be influenced by people around you so how do we change your environment
(00:27) number one is you got to look at your friend group see a lot of people talk about you become the average of The Five People You spend the most time with actually that’s not it you become the average of The Five People You allow to influence you the good news is is you can allow yourself to be influenced by people online think of it as like who you give your power of opinion to in legal they call it the power of attorney I think it is power of opinion you can choose the people that you would allow to influence you you can think about
(00:52) those people and say what would they do what would the people that you admire that have achieved the thing that you want to do how would they assess your decisions so often times one of the fastest ways that you can just reset your environment is to move change cities go to a new school take a new job I know that sounds crazy for a lot of you but I’ve done it several times in my career and every time it’s allowed me to reset who I wanted to become not that there’s anything wrong in who I was at my core but I knew if I wanted to go to
(01:21) another level I had to be around people that were way higher and further along than me I believe that my vibe attracts My Tribe so if my energy is good I’m going to attract other good people the problem is if you’re the smartest person on your street if you’re the richest person on your street you got to move streets if you’re the wealthiest person amongst your friend group you got to find a new group of friends if you’re the big dog in your city find a new city your container where you live communicates your identity to everybody
(01:47) else and to yourself and if you’re not absolutely freaking proud around all the things around you then you got to upgrade your identity you got to upgrade your friends here’s what I believe most people are scared to let go because they’re worried that they won’t find a new group of friends to hang out with but you won’t have the time in your calendar to go even Explore you won’t have the time if you don’t start saying no saying no to your current life allows you to say yes to your potential future which leads us directly into step two
(02:15) which is just backing do it there’s a reason why it’s a license plate on my car a long time ago I discovered that the gap between knowing something and doing something is the delay as soon as you know you have to default to act if you’re reading a book and there’s a passage a chapter a paragraph that you’re like damn that’s really smart put the book down go do something with it if you’re talking to a mentor and he gives you advice and you’re like oh my gosh that’s so smart why am I not doing that go do it if something I’ve ever shared
(02:44) with you moves you inside you have like a feeling around it default to action it’s all about closing the knowing and doing Gap where there’s no more Gap jfdi just freaking do it most people sit there and they overanalyze and they think about it and they ruminate and they SP spiral in their head is this the right decision what would happen what will people think how about before you get inside your head you just do most people would rather play it safe and talk to people about their decisions their actions doing the thing than
(03:13) actually doing the thing and it’s funny cuz they’ll waste time 10 times more time talking about it thinking about it writing it down how about no writing it down and just doing it how about no scheduling and just doing it how about no planning for it and just doing it that muscle is the muscle that has to be built for entrepreneurs to take advantage of opportunities which leads directly into step three which is don’t blame anyone or anything go look in the mirror after I got sober I found it interesting I didn’t tell anybody what I
(03:43) was doing or how they should act but over time everyone around me got sober everyone around me decided to quit drugs stop drinking so much and in my life today many people don’t even drink anymore and often times I get messages saying hey man I’ve been sober for 9 months thanks to you you shared your story and it made me really reflect on what I was doing in my life what I love about that is they decided to not blame other people they decided to take control of what they had the power to control see if you defer your power to
(04:12) somebody else by saying it’s like well I could do it if my wife was on board then you’re making your change dependent on somebody else who you cannot control My Philosophy is very simple nobody has to change for me to win if you want to see people change around you then you have to be the example in a relationship I think it comes down to this I will Focus 100% on me and I’ll expect that you focus 100% on you so that we both have more of each other for each other think about that many people use other folks
(04:40) in their life as the reason for failure I can’t do this cuz I have kids how about because you have kids how about because you have a family how about the fact that your parents were obese and unhealthy that you decide to get in the best shape in your life so that you have the chance to have any kind of influence over these people versus using them as the reason then you can’t get your stuff together most people would rather point to somebody else which is interesting cuz when you do that you have three fingers pointing back at yourself it
(05:07) allows you to not be accountable allows you to not have to be honest with yourself saying that person whether they did that or didn’t do that doesn’t change the way I responded I could have used that as feedback to go be better but instead I’m like oh that’s the reason I can’t win or you could go I created this situation I allowed that person into my life I decided to have a relationship with that person these are all things you can control and don’t give the power up to somebody else to take away the power for you to change
(05:35) your life which leads us directly into step four which is it’s easier to avoid the dragon than to slay it most people that want to get in shape the number one move they could make is to grab all the junk food all the snacky stuff all the things that they know would be a slippery slope if they ate and put it in a box and give it to somebody that needs the food it’s easier to avoid the dragon than to slay it most people are like oh yeah no I’ve got mental toughness you could do that or you could just design the game to be easier to play before I
(06:04) go to bed I put out my clothes for the next morning why cuz when the alarm goes off at 400 in the morning and I got to get up and go to the gym if I don’t have things just set up properly and I’m trying to like overcome the desire to not get up that early there’s a good chance that I’m probably not going to make the best decision if you go to a barbecue you can decide to show up after everybody’s eaten and then enjoy the festivities without having to be enticed just make these decisions it’s always easier to avoid the situation than to
(06:32) try to bring on the motivation the mental toughness to say no I just decide to avoid the whole situation altogether it’s like a family gathering when you know if you go there your uncle’s going to say something and then he’s going to talk crap and then you’re going to have to respond or you can just not go you can decide my mental health my emotions I’m just happier when I’m not around that person you’re allowed to say no I coach so many people on getting their Fitness together and they go well I don’t want to eat different than my
(06:57) family and I go hm why is that well I don’t want them to feel like I’m better than them or that they feel guilty for eating in front of me it’s like well when you go to a restaurant do you eat the same meal as everybody else ordered no you don’t so don’t lie to yourself that other people’s feelings that’s what it is most people use other people’s feelings as the reason to not stay consistent as the reason to not avoid the dragging you’re allowed to take all the food and throw it out and if somebody wants to have a certain type of
(07:25) food have them save it somewhere else in the house be like hey put it in a Cupboard where I’ll never go to don’t invite me to that family gathering going forward this person I don’t need them in my life please don’t invite me to anything they participate you can ask people to support you in your dreams and your goals so that you don’t even have to be the person that makes the decision just make it once let them know hold the standard which brings us directly into step five which is stop being so critical of yourself I know this all too
(07:54) well I actually have a guy on my team and it’s supernatural but anytime something happens that he sees that he’s involved in or even arms length he thinks it’s about him he thinks he did something wrong and I get it sometimes this happens to me where somebody will say something and I think well did I say something wrong like why are they upset and it’s not even true what’s crazy is most of the time that that person on my team is worried when I ask them why the situation had nothing to do with that so here’s what you do first thing I want
(08:18) you to consider is to lift your head instead of looking at your feet and worry about like is this about me is this about me is this about me I want you to lift your eyes up and look over the horizon focus on a vision focus on the future focus on what are you trying to create who are the people that you want around you who can you serve with your message who can you serve with your services Tony Robin says this often if you get inside your head you’re dead when you see yourself spiral do one of four things number one gratitude Vision
(08:46) future I’m trying to create three workout four go help somebody that gets me back on the path and helps me spiral up instead of spiraling down what happens is high performers have the tendency to be really hard on themselves there’s a thin line between being hard on yourself that impacts your performance versus hard on yourself because it’s feedback for you to get better the difference is is where are the feedbacks coming from so that’s why you want to pay somebody else to give you feedback because when I pay for
(09:11) coaching that information lands differently than when I’m saying those same words to myself in my head people beat themselves down because they create the situation that they want to move away from they need the pain to be able to push against it instead of the feedback from somebody else that’s trying to make you better then you’re going to want to live up to their expect expectations not necessarily push away from the pain that you’ve created by trying to tell yourself how bad you are to try to push you forward that desire
(09:37) to step into somebody’s greatness that they see you through their eyes is way easier than trying to overcome the negative talk that you use to propel you forward which leads us directly into step six which is replace your negative habits with positive habits when I stopped smoking I replace it with toothpicks when I got sober I started coding when I have a bad habit something I want to give up I got to figure out what’s that trigger for me to do the bad habit and how do I replace it with something that’s positive usually it’s
(10:04) like working out going for a walk calling a friend I even use the concept of brushing my teeth at 600 p.m. to shut down my decision to eat any food after the fact because I know my eating windows are 6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. even doing 10 push-ups imagine if every time you wanted to go and smoke a vape you decided to do 10 push-ups it wouldn’t take long before those push-ups became the new norm and the truth is is you got to get rid of the old to make room for the new new you have to give up the bad habits so that you can build yourself
(10:32) forward most people make the mistake of just like giving something up and then creating a void problem with a void is it will get filled especially if it’s something like you’ve been doing for decades it could be something silly like playing video games or watching Netflix instead of getting up and doing your work some people literally as soon as they have a moment where they’re in flow their brain switches and they open up a tab and they start typing f a c enter and they go on to Facebook and they have browser blindness and they come back 3
(10:58) hours later going what did I do with my day in those moments you need to design the situation to replace the old habit with something new honestly if you need to use apps to block your internet browsers or certain websites or you need to create some accountability or use a timer or play some music or whatever it is to create the scenario the best way to replace a bad habit is to use something positive that takes over which leads us directly into step seven which is dedicate yourself to a thousand days over the years I’ve discovered that most
(11:28) people over estimate what they can do in one year but drastically underestimate what they can do in 3 years and I call it a dedicate choosing to be consistent around some new positive habits things like waking up earlier reading 10 pages of a book going to the gym reading affirmations gratitude practice meditation whatever it is if you can dedicate yourself to betterment trust me in less than 3 years you’ll see an impact right away but it’s a consistency in the identity building and what it tells you about who you are see most
(12:00) people feel like they lack confidence or they don’t have self-worth or they feel like they’re not good enough but the truth is is it’s all the times you made a decision that you didn’t keep especially the ones you made to yourself in private that eroded the ability for you to feel better about yourself to build that confidence to think bigger because you have proof that you’re the kind of person that can be consistent and when you’re consistent it compounds and what I’ve learned over the years is that consistency builds a foundation for
(12:29) growth otherwise without consistency you won’t have anything strong to build on top of and then you’ll always build a little bit and fall back build a little bit and fall back if you can dedicate yourself to a thousand days you will be unstoppable which leads us directly into step eight which is reward yourself along the way as much as I’m a person of sacrifice and saying no to things I also have learned for the game to be fun to play you have to give yourself many rewards along the way that’s why all of my goals have a positive reward of
(12:58) something I want on the back end of it so for example when I was training for my first Iron Man I put my family vacation at risk now you want to talk about getting your family aligned with your goals tell them that if you don’t complete your Iron Man in a certain amount of time that the whole family vacation isn’t going to happen so my wife did not ask me do you want some dessert or hey are you really getting up that early to go train tomorrow morning she was like GO train go eat better work on yourself do good go call your friends
(13:27) up push harder why because my mini reward was on the back end of doing something hard and I’ve done this in all of my goals every year I sit down I outline 12 goals for the year and I put a reward as the big goal and I put many rewards along the way that way I get some feedback as I accomplish these mini Milestones along the way to the Big Goal most people just buy themselves whatever they want or go do whatever they want and because of that they don’t really earn it my whole philosophy is that if I want to have an epic meal then I’m going
(13:56) to be consistent for 95% of the week if I want to go buy myself a new desk then I’m going to go and earn it by hitting some kind of financial reward in one of my companies if I want to buy that new Supercar guess what that’s on the back end of something massive I just did it with my Ferrari Pista I decided to do a full body recom get down to four five% body fat and then rebuild to 215 lbs lean at 8% body fat that’s what unlocked the reward of that car the key is the design the game to play and to win so give yourself manyi rewards will
(14:28) incentivize you to keep pushing when most people would want to give up you want to implement rewards to hack your brain into wanting to do the hard things why because if not it just feels like pointless most people when they have to do a hard thing if they don’t have a reason for doing it it feels like stress as soon as you give them a crusade a mission a movement that they’re participating in all of a sudden it becomes honorable it becomes something they want to do and then it’s stress they’ve decided what’s called you stress
(14:56) if we’re going to climb the mountain and there’s no point there’s no reward there’s no recognition then essentially the heart is just hard for no purpose if we say that I’m climbing that mountain because I want to raise some money for charity you will do way more to get to the top faster because other people are involved that you’re going to support the why is much bigger than the how if the how is hard you need a massive why to keep pushing you forward the reward creates that why which leads directly into step nine which is don’t compare
(15:25) your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 10 I believe comparison is is the thief of Joy I’ve been building businesses for 27 years so let’s be honest it’s not that impressive I was talking to my dad this morning and he said you know Dan the one thing I can say about you is you’re consistent my year is fairly consistent I do the same types of things with the same type of people and I I change up the environment but in regards to my effort my focus my process for winning my Revenue rhythms consistent consistent consistent so if you’re
(15:58) starting off and you’re trying to compare where I’m at on social media on my finances on my relationship with my wife my health my fitness all these things make no sense because I’ve been at it for a long long long time you know even these 23 year olds that you’re like oh my gosh they’re 23 and they’re driving around a Lamborghini many of them been in business trying legit for 10 years so you’re seeing the 23-year-old and you’re 35 comparing yourself to them it makes no sense there’s entrepreneurial ages so I want
(16:27) you to remember this your only job is is to compare yourself to who you were yesterday and just ask yourself are you getting better most people don’t want to be honest because they’d rather just say oh that person is better than me smarter than me grew up in a better family grew up in a better City they want to use all the reasons of comparison to give them an out for being the best version of themselves here’s what I know nobody will ever be you you are the original the most unique and awesome thing you could ever be is you and to compare
(16:55) yourself to somebody else in any way shape or fashion is kind of silly you can use other people to be inspired you should be glad for them you should praise them you should be like super happy like man that’s amazing you’re 23 and you’re driving that car and you have that house that’s incredible cuz it should be proof that it’s possible but for you to use that as a reason to beat yourself up and feel less than that’s where it doesn’t actually help if you want to learn the 44 cheat codes I know at 44 that I wish I knew at 24 click the
(17:22) link and I’ll see you on the other side