8 Ways to Stop Wasting Your Evenings After Work

8 Things I Did to Stop Wasting My Evenings After Work – YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXtC9cEwBoI

Transcript:
(00:00) every day has the same 24 hours but most people only have two parts work and trying to avoid work this was my reality for years 16-our days completely exhausted and my evenings were disappearing but at the same time I really wanted to be there for my family and find time to work out and it was only after having my first son Max and losing all of my free time that I finally discovered these eight hacks that completely changed how I use my time after work so with that being said these are the eight hacks to stop
(00:29) wasting your evenings and use them for what actually matters starting with the first hack to stop wasting your evenings use your feed to feed your mind most people will tell you delete Tik Tok and social media i disagree you can literally learn more online using social media than you’ll ever learn in university but the key is you need to learn how to hack your algorithm and here’s how to do it number one teach your preferences your social media is a mirror to what you’ve engaged with in the past so if you want to use your feed
(00:57) to feed your mind you have to actually tell it so what I do is I actually search for things I want to learn about let’s say it’s AI or marketing my business or learning a new skill and I search for videos on that and then I leave a comment FYP which stands for for you page which means feed my algorithm now this isn’t built into the algorithm this is just my little sneaky way to hack it together and it works flawlessly you’ll literally see your feed change within minutes the second is unfollow accounts now this one might hurt some
(01:25) people’s feelings but trust me on it you’re responsible for the energy you bring into your life meaning certain people’s account are making you triggered and making you feel certain ways so you might have to unfollow them if you can’t do it cuz you’re worried of hurting some feelings just mute them i’m a big fan of curating and unfollowing it i call it a friend inventory number three integrate what you learn so it’s one thing to just learn something i’m a big fan of saving it creating collections and then using that
(01:51) information trying to teach it to other people share it i might use it in a quote on Instagram i might tell a friend about a story i might refer it to somebody on my team or a friend of mine the more you integrate what you’re learning into the people around you the easier it is for it to come back to help your mind while most productivity nerds out there will tell you get off your phone and delete the app i’m telling you use it you just got to do it this way so it actually makes you better which brings us to hack number two of getting
(02:16) back your evenings forget work life balance here’s the reality i work seven days a week evenings included most people that see me think I have this very balanced life and the truth is is my life is 247 creation i don’t have work life balance i have work life integration i just happened to be in business with the same people I go mountain biking with i don’t separate anything it’s funny cuz my dad used to say “If you love the work you do you’ll never work a day in your life.
(02:42) ” I just didn’t think he thought that I would take it to this level so here’s how I integrate my life to not waste my evenings to push my life forward every evening is used to be proactive to do something tuesday is date night with my wife mountain biking is Wednesday it’s all integrated it’s just doing the thing that I know is going to support my dreams see there is work that you can do even when your brain is fried and you’re tired so for example if I’m not feeling like doing anything creative anymore going to a founders dinner getting a
(03:09) group of friends to go mountain biking will reset my energy and allow me to have these conversations on the uphill that might move my business forward the way I prioritize those kind of activities is using the Eisenhower matrix where you have one access that is importance the other one is urgency and what you want to do is use your evenings to do things that are important but not urgent strategy ideation reviewing data and relationship building which brings us to hack number three schedule family time see most people spend time with
(03:36) their family or their friends but they’re like half there their brains are fried and they’re not present here’s what I recommend instead is block that time out i’ve always found it interesting that the people you love the most usually get your leftovers and the reason why is you just don’t prioritize your energy throughout the week especially your evenings i remember being at an event hearing Ryan Holidayiday share this quote he said “There are people with kids and then there are parents.” I think parents are
(04:00) intentional about what they want to do and teach their kids whereas there’s people with kids that literally just make sure that they’re fed and that’s about it so here are three ways to be present with your kids or your friends number one is weekly date nights or weekly nights it doesn’t matter if you’re single and you want to see your friends or go on dates but you need to prioritize it i learned a long time ago if my wife and I are good the kids are good if mom and dad aren’t good the kids want one thing mom and dad to be good so
(04:26) you got to make it a priority number two is plan the activity most people will just sit at home and be like “Let’s watch a show together.” And they just lay around on the couch and they consider that spending quality time together i think you should date your partner i think you should get out of your home and you should go do things that both are interesting to you and that maybe you haven’t done before because if it’s the same old same old same old trust me you’re not investing in the relationship and the third is
(04:50) bedtime routine i love to put my kids to bed why because for me it’s in that time i ask my kids this question every day cuz I think it’s the one thing I got to get them good at and that’s did you fail today tell me about it and I celebrate it because I believe that winners fail more than losers and if you don’t let your kids fail they’ll grow up as losers which brings us to hack number four defend your downtime this was Dan about 13 years ago i was working 100hour weeks i thought it was normal i thought that
(05:20) frenetic energy is what made me successful i thought it was my edge the problem was is I literally burned myself out my body said stop i got adrenal fatigue and shingles on my back and the people around me couldn’t stand me because I couldn’t turn off what I’ve learned since then is the downtime is part of the creative process that is something you want to take advantage of hobbies aren’t just a break they’re a strategy to success i’m a better person for my family and my team if I go and do the thing I love to do so here’s how to
(05:50) defend your downtime and create that space for it to breathe number one you got to block time for hobbies on your calendar block it in and put it in i have the block times in my calendar to do the thing because I’m happier after I get to do those hobbies the second is pick challenging hobbies i get it some people are into like model trains and origami and all that fun stuff it’s just not for me i like physical and mentally tough things like mountain biking wake surfing snowboarding hiking because I get to exhaust my body to tame my mind
(06:21) and that makes me better for everybody number three make it reoccurring you ever have those times where somebody calls you to play ball hockey or pick up basketball and you have such a great time and for whatever reason life gets busy and you don’t do it again but you said you would i’m a big fan of putting it in my calendar and sending the reoccurring invite to everybody that was there so that we don’t miss it again i really believe that consistency compounds and having that reoccurring calendar that everybody commits to will
(06:46) make it a priority which brings us to hack number five never eat alone i learned this crazy idea from Keith Farazzi when he wrote about it in a book called Never Eat Alone as an introverted programmer that’d rather code than talk to another person the idea of organizing dinners with business people to just invite them to hang out was wild to me i remember even Keith went as far in the book to talk about invite people to do workouts and I’m like that’s the dumbest thing ever nobody would ever do that however today if I’ve never met you
(07:15) there’s no way we’re connecting without first doing something hard physically usually the founders hike because it’s just such a beautiful way to go do something that benefits both people and create the space for you to have really great conversations the meal or founders dinner takes it to another level and the cool part is you can invite a lot of people because the more hands you shake the more money you make so one of my favorite ways to do this is if you’re going to an event and you don’t know anybody just book a restaurant the night
(07:41) of the event and then as you meet people throughout the day just be like “Hey do you got dinner plans?” “No.” “Do you want to come to dinner i’ve invited a few other people.” Then you become the person that brings them together see one of the things you’ll learn if you study relationships and networking is that loose ties lead to the biggest opportunities the people you know well already know you and what’s available out in the world they’re not going to bring you new stuff but it’s the people you just met or haven’t seen in a while
(08:04) that will bring you the biggest opportunities to make you money so I always curate the connections make sure I invite the right people to the meal and I introduce everybody to each other they think that I’m the person that knows everybody really well they don’t realize that I just met them that day which brings us to hack number six avoid the dragon don’t try to slay it so the other day I was talking to my buddy who’s trying to lose some weight and he was all frustrated pissed off because he said his family wouldn’t allow him to
(08:27) get rid of the snacks in his house so he’s always catching himself snacking late at night and I just said to him they might not let you throw them in the garbage just remove them from the pantry that you go in 17 times a day your environment will always win over your willpower so here’s how you set yourself up to win junk food issues clean out your pantry don’t have it in your face for me my crazy addiction is peanut butter and if chocolate’s nearby you put those two together it’s not healthy so I just don’t have it in our pantry it’s in
(08:56) the laundry room video games unplug the console i had a video game console at my house i decided to bring it into the office that way if we wanted to play video games we’d all have to get in the car drive down to the office and play there it turned out nobody wanted to play anymore the ultimate way to not waste your evening is to make the good choice the only choice which brings us to hack number seven do an evening reset for me this strategy is so important i give everybody on all my teams this one book and it’s called the 5-minute
(09:22) journal and here’s how we break down the process number one is reflect on today ask yourself and this is what the book prompts what went well and what did you learn most people don’t take time to celebrate their wins they always say “I didn’t get this done.” When they go to bed stressed out which affects their sleep if you can just redirect that energy to awesomeness you will sleep better number two is review your goals see I believe that if you want to hit a target reviewing that goal three times a day will increase the probability that
(09:48) you hit that crazy target cuz you can’t hit a target that you can’t see so every night before I shut things off and go to bed I always review my goals number three is plan for tomorrow before I go to bed around 8:30 after I put my kids to bed I sit down with my wife and we talk i review my calendar i review my plan i make sure it reflects my priorities and my goals and if it doesn’t I tweak stuff screenshot it send to my assistant but make sure when I wake up I know exactly what I’m going to attack the workout and then get to the
(10:14) work which brings us to hack number eight of not wasting your evening set a bedtime alarm a few months ago I had one of my private clients in town and he mentioned he had his wife so I said “Hey why don’t you guys come over for dinner?” And we’re in the living room and she starts telling me about how they mad and then she happens to mention that her husband has this bad habit he literally sets seven different morning alarms that he uses to snooze to and it occurred to me that this guy thinks it’s normal to wake up and just snooze that
(10:43) is a big no no if you have a hard time waking up on time then you have to set a nighttime alarm to go to bed see your energy today is from decisions you made before your choices now determine your energy later here’s the reality people see me post at 4 in the morning on Instagram and most of the time I get up really early but I get up without an alarm and when people are surprised by that I just tell them “Oh it’s not that impressive i just go to bed at 9:00.
(11:08) ” I literally have an alarm to tell me go to bed it’s funny because everybody talks about the morning routine and I understand how important it is to have a process for getting into the creative work and really planning your day but the end of the day is where we kind of button things up and create this framework for the following day so in many ways I think about it as a slingshot to your growth most people can stay focused and they have a lot of discipline during the day but evenings are where the winners are made if you
(11:35) make these small changes you’ll be unstoppable so if you want to learn the 13 hacks to be 99% more disciplined click here and I’ll see you on the other